are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
