I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My butt remains clenched, sir.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
