I'm going to jail i love you
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
