1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
