dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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