Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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