About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
