bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
