Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
