So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
