Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
