i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
