i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
