Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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