I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
