She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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