If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
