So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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