You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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