No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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