Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
smell my finger.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
