Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
