I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
