"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i will never coherently bang her
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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