you win again, gameday.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
