I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
