this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
