therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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