I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
