I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She bit a glass in half.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
