can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
