while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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