Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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