Me. At least after what I've been through.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
