i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize