we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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