she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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