You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
