my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
