Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
