You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
