I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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