people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
