so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
