This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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