I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
