I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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