How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There r osticjed everywhere
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
