you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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