Quick, to the slutcave!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
