I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
