Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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