Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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