the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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