He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
