My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
