how can u be prego again
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
