Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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