apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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