Whod you bang
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize