So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
