i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
operation have a gay friend backfired
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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