and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
