When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
