Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
